THE CHURCH?

I received this piece from a friend yesterday and just wanted to share it with you:

I felt so broken and alone, the burden on my heart felt like it was on my back; its weight broke my back, I couldn’t even stand straight. I couldn’t see the sun, it added to my burdens; death was all I could think about. Life was meaningless and there was nowhere to go, no one to turn to and I would sleep an endless sleep than wake up to hear the birds singing the dirges that would be sang when I am finally laid to rest.

The blue skies mocked me and they made want to scream, they smiled when all I could do was weep, tears were the food of my soul. No one even smiled, the whole world was in a rush and I was at a standstill.

I heard my mother’s voice, so soft and tender and her touch so gentle; she had come only to remind me that I would find solace, peace and someone to listen to me if I go to the church. I remembered the Apostle Paul saying that the Church is the Body of Christ; I had heard so much about Christ, I even saw the great things He did and how He turned the ugly into the beautiful. The Body of Christ- His eyes, ears, lips, tongue, hands, feet and most of all His heart. The Church would be the right place to find solace.

I had done so much wrong; I needed a place to offload this over-weighted burden. I went to the Church...

Why did everyone look at me so strangely? Did my sin show on my face? At last! Someone to talk to before the service started. It felt so good to have someone listen and tell you about the love of God and the salvation Christ brings.

Why is everyone walking away when I try to get close? Why is the gentleman who spoke to me before the service hiding from me? Why do I still feel lonely and left out like I did before I came in? Why are they staring at me with their noses turned up and their eyes so full of condemnation? Why do I feel worse than I did before service? Why are they judging me?

Doesn’t the Good Book say that Jesus came for the broken? Didn’t Jesus say that those who are well do not need a doctor? Why do I feel like the medication given me is making me worse off than before?

The Good Book says God’s heart is full of compassion; the Church is God’s heart isn’t it? Why is it so cold? The Church is God’s hand, why is it so short in reaching out to a sick person like me? Why aren’t these hands wrapping me up and warming me up? Why isn’t it taking the burden off my back? But Jesus said I should come to Him with my burden and He will give me rest; why then do I feel like I have to carry my burden along with the judgement and condemnation it comes with? The Church is God’s feet, why isn’t it walking to me with the love and forgiveness I so seek?

If indeed the Church is the Body of Christ, why didn’t I find solace like my mother told me? Why didn’t I find the consolation and forgiveness I so sought?

Was I better off coming to the Church? Why do I have to be relegated to the back for doing the wrong I didn’t really want to do? Why excommunication when I could have been given mercy?

Is the Church really the Body of Christ? Is that how Christ would have treated me? If He is the doctor for the fit, perfectly holy and sanctimonious person, then what about people like me who are sick, dying and perishing and being lost every day? Where do we stand in this world?

Are all those holy people in the Church really holy? Aren’t they covering up their dark deeds by their bright and holy faces and sanctimoniously pious actions? Are they worse than I or I worse than them?

If I can’t find solace, peace and a haven from my burdens in the Church, where would I find it?

credit: Benita